“695-1181”: Enough already!

Okay, I’ve had it up to here!
Not with those repetitious RPM Direct Satellite TV commercials. No, what I’m tired of are those annoying people who feel they must bombard me with their anger at the commercials. I’m beginning to understand what it’s like to be a national advertiser on the receiving end of a hate mail campaign because I’m advertising on an unpopular TV show. You know how it goes: viewers don’t like the program so they put pressure on the advertisers. By doing that, you hit the TV station in the pocketbook and, rather than lose viewers, the station cuts the program…or in this case, the commercial.
But this is no “Book of Daniel” we’re talking about here. It is a TV commercial. Let me share a portion of a letter I got this past week. It’s very typical of what I hear from disgruntled viewers.
“I would like to advise KRBC and KTAB that I do not tune in to either with one or two exceptions and when I make the exceptions I have time the ‘695-1181’ so that I can cut the TV off until they have finished the ad, then turn it back on. I know you people think this ‘ad’ is God’s gift to your viewers, but if you only knew how many viewers are doing what I am doing, a lot of them have cut KRBC and KTAB completely.”
The writer goes on to say, “I have been around many, many years, but have never seen any TV station’s try so hard to ANTAGONIZE their viewers. Will have to give both TV stations the ‘A-Plus’ for being the most ‘ANTAGONISTIC’ TV stations in the world.”
The author of the letter claims to have been elected to serve as a spokesman for this group of “x-viewers” (I think he meant “ex-viewers”; “x-viewers” are people who watch adult programming), but chose to remain anonymous.
Well, first of all, Mr. “Ex-viewer”, you are talking to the wrong guy. I don’t have anything to do with the commercials. Here’s something else: I get it; okay? You don’t like the ads. No one, though, has ever told me what specifically they don’t like about them. Even more amazing is that they continue to refer to the commercials by nearly always singing the jingle. Like it or not, that’s an ad campaign that works!
But surely this can’t be the first ad campaign to annoy viewers. So, in the interest of accuracy, I got on the web and did a search of “annoying TV commercials” and found some of these gems:

“Plop, Plop, Fizz, Fizz. Oh, what a relief it is.”
“Try it – You’ll like it.”
“Mama Mia, That’s a spicy meatball.”
“Mother, please. I’d rather do it myself.”

Boy, remember those old commercials? We hated them and use to make fun of them. They are now considered advertising classics. Why? Because you associate them with a product.
Let’s take a moment and examine these RPM commercials more closely. We have a simple jingle line: “6-9-5 -1-1-8-1. Who are you with? RPM Direct.” Boy, it doesn’t get much simpler than that: instant recall of the company’s name and phone number. That is an ad that works.
Finally, let’s just consider the bottom line. You don’t have to pay a TV tax in this country like viewers in other countries must do because the costs of paid for through advertising. If we start pulling ads off the air, I’m sure you won’t mind replacing that revenue base, right? It’s only fair.
So, here’s my challenge to all you angry TV viewers. If you don’t like the ads, do something about them. Come up with a better ad! Here’s the caveat, though. This ad has to draw the same level of viewer response and the audience must have the same level of product recall. In other words, if you don’t like the ad, come up with something that is less offensive, but just as effective.
I’m looking forward to seeing your ideas. Get started.
By the way, to all you viewers who said you’d be watching another Abilene TV station because we are running the RPM ads… I guess you won’t be watching TV, period. RPM’s now running on that channel, too.

Downing Bolls